Practical Forgiveness
- Jesus followers are commanded to forgive… all the time.
Luke 17:3-5 NLT
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Show us how to increase our faith.”
7 times a day! The apostles needed more faith for that, and you probably do too. Forgiveness is not based on the person deserving it, but on what Jesus has done for you.
- Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. Certainly, sometimes forgiveness leads to reconciliation but there needs to still be boundaries. A counselor can help you walk through that. You can’t be walked all over, abused, or in danger.
Forgiveness happens first between you and God.
If someone has wronged you then you can follow the steps outlined in Matthew 18:15-20 to seek reconciliation.
- go privately (to the person who wronged you) and point out the offense.
- If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. (that is always the goal – reconciliation)
- 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again,
- so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. (sometimes it’s helpful to get a couple other trusted people to go with you and help the person understand what they did).
- 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church (leadership/organization structure)
- . Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector. (Relationships are super important to God. If there is conflict between believers in the local church it must be worked through. If there is not a desire by the sinning party to work through the issues, then their relationship with the local church needs to be redefined. (Treating someone like a pagan or corrupt tax collector – How does Jesus do that? He loves them and pursues them even more.)
- Forgiveness is something between you and God. And when others confess to you, you respond and say – I’ve [already] forgiven you. But sometimes they will never confess to you. In that case, you still forgive them (just don’t tell them you’ve forgiven them if they don’t confess to you, that’s strange). You just pray and hope that they’ll turn from their sin/confess their sin to you one day so that you can express your forgiveness and be reconciled.
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. – Romans 12:18 NLT
Sometimes living at peace with everyone is not possible. You’ve done all you can do for now and now you continue to pray and trust God and His timing. You’ve forgiven them though. So that if and when they ever turn to you to confess their sin, you can be ready to express your forgiveness to them.
Maybe God will get a hold of them in some way. That’s really his heart. He desires their turning from their sin and reconciliation towards the person they wronged more than even their worship.
Matthew 5:23-24 NLT
23 “So if you are presenting a sacrifice[h] at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.